As a parenting coach the topic I typically am asked about is how to BE patient. It is an important part of being a successful parent and certainly goes a long way toward creating a pleasant and joyful parenting experience.
However, I was recently asked a question by one of the members of my face book group, Awakened Parenting Discussion Group that I had not been asked in a very long time… “How do I teach my toddler to be patient?”
What I love and admire about this parent is that she is thinking in terms of teaching her toddler age child skills that will be a huge part of her character and will greatly affect her throughout life in many many ways.
Too often parents think their children are ‘too young’ to comprehend such things, but the truth is that it is not the lesson or the skills but the approach to teaching that interferes with what children are able to grasp. Of course the most important is modeling patience with them. We can never forget that our children are watching us and absorbing what they see in us like little sponges!
With that being said, there are 5 steps that you can implement to help your children learn to be patient as well.
5 Easy Steps to Teach Your Children How to Be Patient!
1. The first step is to choose one or two things that happen during daily life on a regular basis. These will vary depending on the age of your child. Suggestions would be story time, snack time, outdoor playtime, or various activities not bound by specific times such as sport’s practices etc.
2. Using one of the chosen activities, announce that it is time. For example, “Oh I see it is time for a snack! Would you like an apple or celery with peanut butter today?…
3. As your child is engaged in conversation about snack time, add that you need them to color one more page or put the game away that they had been playing or whatever suits the situation and explain that you need to finish the dishes or putting the laundry in the washer etc and you will be ready to enjoy snack time!
4. Begin only allowing a few minutes to pass, you do not want your child to become frustrated…no more than 10 minutes for younger children.
5. When some time has passed, announce with a joyful tone that you are finished and ready now too. It is extremely critical to immediately praise and thank your child for being ‘patient’. Example: “Yay, the dishes are done and I am ready to join you for a snack. I like the way you continued to color so that I could finish the dishes. That was so grown up of you!”
When you repeat this scenario several times a week you will be teaching your child to adjust their expectations of immediate gratification to one of being totally fine with waiting a bit. They gain these skills and learn this valuable life lesson through experiencing patience.
I strongly suggest beginning this with your children at an early of an age as possible. The ability to be patient is necessary for a successful school experience and will become the foundation of any activity that includes dealing with other people.
Guiding your children to acquire the art of being patient will lead to so many other virtues that will affect them and their level of success in life.
Special Note to Parents and Grandparents
In recent years we have seen a huge shift in our society because of the indisputable information concerning the power of our thoughts and their affects on what we achieve in our lives. This has had an incredible impact on how we approach life…mainly pertaining to releasing negative thoughts that interfere with our dreams, passions and goals.
In fact, the most financially successful among us (Oprah Winfrey and Donald Trump to name a few) all attribute their achievements to thinking positive and believing in themselves. The proof is in the pudding as they say and because of that we have seen an unprecedented rise in the demand for self-help programs, publications and coaching…all in an effort to help us utilize our innate power to choose by way of changing our negative thoughts and ideas into powerful positive ones.
However, the impact of our thoughts and beliefs is not limited to achieving material possessions, our dream career, financial success or even obtaining improved health. Millions of parents are now realizing the enormous influence their thoughts, ideas and beliefs have on their level of success as a parent. I have coined this our ‘Parenting Mindset’.
Denny Hagel is a child advocate and parenting coach, devoting over 25 years to the success and well being of all children. She is the published author of over 150 articles on parenting, many of which have attracted international attention in over 24 countries.
Denny was blessed with forward thinking parents who raised her with an understanding of her value as an individual, her innate power to choose by way of her thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs, thus, instilling in her a strong sense of personal responsibility for what happens in our lives
She is the founder of Awakened Parenting LLC, a company dedicated to helping parents release parenting paradigms of the past and consciously choose to raise their children to approach life with a positive mindset and strong sense of self. It is Denny’s passion to combine what she learned through her formal education in early childhood education and psychology and what her parents instilled in her and pass this on to all parents.
Denny has created the discussion group "Awakened Parenting Discussion Forum" on Face Book which now has nearly 600 members. She does on line coaching with parents and teachers who consult her on a regular basis. Denny collaborates with counselors, authors, coaches and others working in the parent coaching field. Denny Hagel is the author of the newly published "The Missing Secret to Parenting", "The C.P.R. Program for Parents & Teens: Conflict Prevention/Resolution Formula", "Mini-Me Syndrome" and two free e-booklets “Parenting Using the Law of Attraction” and “Becoming an Awakened Parent".