What Messages Are We Sending to Our Children?

by denny hagel on June 19, 2011

Have you taken your children to the movies lately? Or for those with pre-teens and teens, how about a live concert? Justin Beiber, Katie Perry? I recently took my two grandchildren to see Kung Fu Panda II. We met several of their friends along with their parents and had a great time. (The kids more than the adults I must say, several of us found it a bit boring!)
We chose the afternoon matinee which gives discounted ticket prices and offers a drink/popcorn combo at a reduced price. However, later that evening I almost went into cardiac arrest when I realized I had spent almost $40.00! I honestly thought I must have misplaced money at first…until I began adding everything up! Tickets, snacks and oh yes, the 3-D glasses…Wow! I can’t imagine the cost of a live concert!
Many of you who have been following me regularly are aware of the fact that my parenting philosophy is rooted in what within the last few years has come to the forefront defined as the principles of the Universal Law of Attraction.
You probably also know that I was raised to live by these principles long before this became a household term. In short, I was taught that what you put forth will come back to you…not that different from the teachings in the Bible that says “What you sow, you will reap.” And that we can deliberately affect this by what we choose through our thoughts and beliefs.
From watching my parents raise their five children, I also learned that as a parent what we do by way of our actions and attitude has a powerful impact on how our children will approach life. Positive or Negative.
Now, bear with me while we switch gears here for a minute
According to the Forbes top ten list, celebrities and sports figures earned between 34 million dollars (Tom Cruise) and Tiger Woods who was at the top earning 200 million dollars. (The number one spot is held by Oprah Winfrey but I chose to omit her because she is more of a teacher to the masses than a celebrity.) In contrast, the latest statistics show that the average pay salary for a public school teacher is approximately $40, 000 and the average income for a typical 4 member family in the United States is $ 56,000 per year.
With that being said, the question I bring to you is this…
Based on these statistics, what are we as a society saying to our children about our priorities and what we value in others and ourselves?
Another example was brought to my attention by a friend and colleague, Victoria Gazeley, when she posted on Face Book that in Japan they have a devastating earthquake and tsunami and people pull together and care for each other. In Vancouver, they lose a hockey game and all hell breaks loose – looting, burning, destruction.
So, again, what are we saying to our children? What is the society we live in teaching them about what is of value and how we are to treat one another? BUT here’s the kicker…WE, you and me, we are “society”. Society is not some abstract outer being that we can hold accountable. Each and every one of us makes up, contributes to and creates our "society".
As parents, we must assume the responsibility for the world our children are growing up in and we must all do our part to initiate change.
Change is not always easy, but it can be done and it starts with each and every one of us being willing to examine our core beliefs and the resulting consequences of those beliefs because this is what we are passing on to our children.
Children learn from what we model, not from what we say. When we freely choose to spend money on what entertains us and then choose not to balance that with giving either of ourselves or financially to those less fortunate or those that provide an important service,  we are sending a clear message of what we believe is important in life…what holds the most value.
What if we were the generation that consciously chose to make the necessary changes?  I believe  we can be.
In my recently published book, The Missing Secret to Parenting, I provide the information, tools and insights to help you be the best person you can be in order to be the best parent you can be. By following the easy to do exercises you are taken through steps that will help you examine your thoughts and beliefs to uncover those that you are unaware of and are buried within your subconscious mind. In doing so, you can then identify those that are negative, thus enabling you to remove them so that you are not inadvertently passing them on to your children.
Make no mistake; we all have them by virtue of being alive!
Let’s begin within ourselves…rid ourselves of buried negativity so that we can pass on a set of values and principles that brings what is positive into our society. Join with me and together we can make the changes that will empower us to raise our children in the world they deserve.
Let's do this TODAY! Say YES!
I want to be part of the solution!


Denny Hagel is a child advocate and parent coach, devoting over 25 years to the success and well being of all children. She is the published author of over 150 articles on parenting, several of which have attracted international.

Denny was blessed with forward thinking parents who raised her with an understanding of her value as an individual, her innate power to choose by way of her thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs, thus, instilling in her a strong sense of personal responsibility for what happens in our lives

She is the founder of Awakened Parenting LLC, a company dedicated to helping parents release parenting paradigms of the past and consciously choose to raise their children to approach life with a positive mindset and strong sense of self. It is Denny’s passion to combine what she learned through her formal education in early childhood education and psychology and what her parents instilled in her and pass this on to all parents.

Denny has created the discussion group "Awakened Parenting Discussion Forum" on Face Book which now has nearly 600 members.  She does on line coaching with parents and teachers who consult her on a regular basis. Denny collaborates with counselors, authors, coaches and others working in the parent coaching field. Denny Hagel is the author of the newly published "The Missing Secret to Parenting", "The C.P.R. Program for Parents & Teens: Conflict Prevention/Resolution Formula", "Mini-Me Syndrome" and two free e-booklets Parenting Using the Law of Attraction and Becoming an Awakened Parent".



  • Victoria Gazeley

    Denny, you’ve hit the nail on the head.  I’m a bit horrified when I see the sort of destruction and disrespect for others and their property that happens when children are  raised without a sense of responsibility – to themselves, to their community, and to the greater world.  The debacle in Vancouver last week is just one more example.  And recently in our little town, some bozos decided to remove the expensive wooden park signs at a local park and use them for firewood on the beach.  Just so incredibly thoughtless… and we all pay for it.  It’s definitely time we stepped up as parents and as a community, in a mindful way, to switch gears and figure out how we can both allow our children to flourish in their individuality, speak up for what’s right AND have them live their lives being respectful and kind.  As an aside, it turns out one of the kids caught on video trying to ignite the gas tank of a police cruiser (!) was a star athlete with scholarships to university this fall.  You’ve just gotta wonder… :o(

  • http://www.thechoicedrivenlife.com Olga

    I agree with all you said Denny, the scholarship of the star athlete was withdrawn by the way; that’s what I heard. I think, our children see that nobody gets punished for their wrong actions on the media or just a little. Then, they watch the violence on the ice during the game, that has an efect as well of course especially when people are drinking. It’s not good!

  • Susan McKenzie

    Wow, Denny! I love this challenge you put to us: What if we were the generation that consciously chose to make the necessary changes?  I believe  we can be.   I absolutely agree with you and couldn’t agree more! There is a solution, and it’s almost life a revolution… and it begins with each one of us and the choices we make (with our children following us) based on our core beliefs…. I love what you are doing here!!!!

  • Denny

    Thank you Susan! Your support means so much to me!

  • Denny

    I share in your horror Victoria. It MUST start in the home with parents leading the way. When children love and respect themselves they in turn love and respect others and they get this if and how they are loved and respected.

  • Denny

    Thanks for sharing your insights Olga. You make a great point!

  • http://www.webmarketingconnections.com Carol Douthitt

    begin within ourselves…rid ourselves of buried negativity so that we
    can pass on a set of values and principles that brings what is positive
    into our society.”  The world would be a much better place if everyone followed your advice Denny.  Thanks for being the voice for positivity!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carol-Rosenberg-Giambri/655311615 Carol Rosenberg Giambri

    Denny, children surely do learn from what is modeled to them.  For some it can even be a set back to growing up even as an adult.  I am speaking from personal experience. However, glad “change” is possible by choosing our “new” surrounding family and looking to our own core beliefs. Great sharing always by you.

  • Denny

    Appreciate your insights Carol!

  • Denny

    Thanks Carol for your kind words…we are on the right path, I see more and more parents becoming aware of the enormous impact they have on their children’s lives, much more than previous generations have realized…and I can’t tell you how thrilled I am!

  • Joanie McMahon

    Just love all you offer Denny.  It is true modeling is important.  It also makes me happy to know that each child has their own inner guidance and that they know what is best for them always if they are listening. I often knew that my mother was off in her thoughts for me because they did not feel good to me.  :)

  • Rosiebella2

    new modern life means ; learn ,teach ~ livewithlove ~

  • http://CarlaJGardiner.com Carla

    This really hit home, Denny. I agree we each one of us need to step up to the plate to change the direction our society is headed in. Some may feel it is futile. However, like the story of the man walking on the beach picking up starfish throwing them back into the water..it mattered to that one. 

  • Denny

    Love your insight Carla…inspiring!

  • Denny

    Thank you Joanie, how wonderful that you were aligned with your inner guidance as a child to be aware of the fact that your mother’s thoughts did not feel good to you! That is huge because now as an adult you KNOW it is there!

  • Pingback: 3 Questions to Determine If You Have A Healthy Parenting Mindset()

  • http://www.PathToLifeSuccess.net Hughie Bagnell

    Excellent article Denny…the middle-class is disappearing, the wealth gap is widening, common sense words like ‘please’, ‘excuse me’, ‘thank you’ are disappearing or have disappeared…we all ‘MUST’ step to the plate to reverse these trends…but, we can not do it alone…we must have faith in God to help us! …Thanks Denny, Hughie

  • Pingback: How to Protect Your Children from Negative Outside Influences()

  • Pingback: Straight Talk on Parenting That You Won’t Hear Anywhere Else!()

  • Pingback: Parents~Before You Vote Please Consider This…()

  • Pingback: 3 Key Steps to Finding Common Ground for Parents Who Disagree()

  • http://twitter.com/SueGlashower Sue Glashower

    Great article! I couldn’t agree more. We need to be so careful what we are modeling to our children and the messages that we give them through our own lives. Our priorities have gotten way out of focus – if only more people would see that and be willing to stand up for change!

  • penny

    great article and so true, I recently went through this with my children this summer at a country concert…my eyes were opened to something that should have been fun and innocent to something vulgar and influential to both my children. Thanks for the confirmation that we are to be aware of our culture and what influences our children with.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ronbcross Ron Cross

    I thought this was so profound Denny: Society is not some abstract outer being that we can hold accountable. Each and every one of us makes up, contributes to and creates our “society”

    Great article. Really made me think.

  • Olga Hermans

    I remember this post very well; you pointed out the key issues of this event very well Denny!

  • Pingback: The Connecticut Shootings: What to Say to Your Kids()

  • Pingback: Real Gratitude is an Attitude of the Heart()

  • Pingback: Are You Guilty of Fear-Based Parenting? Are You Sure?()

  • Pingback: How Do You Deal With An Angry Child?()

  • Pingback: Do You Know What Has the Most Detrimental Effect on Your Kids?()

  • Pingback: How Would You Rate Your Child’s Self-Esteem?()

  • Pingback: Preparing for the Teenage Years!()

  • Pingback: How Well Do Your Children Really Know You?()

  • Pingback: Are You an Accessible Parent?()

  • Pingback: How to Raise Kids Free of Limiting Beliefs()

  • Pingback: 3 Main Components to Law of Attraction Parenting()

Previous post:

Next post: