I have always found it interesting to watch the parenting “dance” between parents and their children.One version will go like this… I call it the parenting “dance of power”. It usually starts with a parent telling a child to do something…like “Take out the trash!” or “Pick up your toys!” And of course the child typically will respond by either ignoring the order or flat out say “No, I don’t want to!” Either way, the “dance” has begun!
In response the parent will feel the need to take action to enforce his order because children are supposed to obey… Right? And the child feels compelled to rebel because……because…..Ahh, so now we have reached the point of the story.
Why do children rebel and defy their parent’s orders?
While watching a different group of parents and children interact in a different version…what I call the parenting “dance of cooperation”, the answer becomes obvious.
This exchange would go like this, “Sam, would you mind taking out the trash?” or “Beth, it is time to eat dinner. This would be a good time to pick up your toys.” The children’s responses were, “Sure!” and “Ok!”
It doesn’t require a great deal of analyzing to see that the child who was “ordered” responded with the same negative attitude he received from his parent, just as the child who received a “request” responded in a positive way.
The Universal Law of Attraction states quite clearly that what you put out you will receive.
In relationships what that means is that if you want to be respected, you must show respect. If you want courtesy, you must be courteous. Seems simple, yet so many times parents forget their children deserve the same respect given to co-workers or neighbors, or friends.
When two people engage in a dance, one is established as the leader. The one leading determines the flow and rhythm of the dance. The leader chooses the direction on the dance floor, the dips and turns, and is ultimately responsible for whether the dance is an enjoyable experience.
Relating to children works the same way. Children look to their parents for guidance in the “dance of life”…it is up to the parent to lead and guide the steps that determine whether the dance will flow smoothly with enjoyment and co-operation…OR awkwardly trip and stumble and feel like both partners have two left feet!
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