Parents We CAN Do Better!

by denny hagel on December 19, 2010

For most of us, we have received our thoughts, ideas and beliefs about parenting based on the way our parents raised us. But, let’s face it, when you look at today’s generation something is not working! Our children are growing up in a culture that supports violence in every area of their lives… music, art, entertainment as well as socially…and it is defended as self-expression.

Drug use is at an all time high…which literally means that escaping reality is uppermost in their minds. And today anti-depressants are the most widely prescribed medication for children…Are you kidding me? Depressed children? Childhood is meant to be a time of laughing and playing, acting silly and just plain having fun!

As concerned parents we must ask the question, what is going on in our children’s minds that creates such negative thoughts that they need to express, or be drugged to escape from or to cope with?

Violence has saturated their minds to the point that they have become desensitized to the reality of life and death. A common trait among teenagers that has existed since day one is seeing themselves as invincible… “Nothing will happen to me”… “Bad things only happen to other people”… “Not me, I’m different”. However, in our current society these thought processes are magnified 100 fold…and their choices and actions reflect that.

I attended school in the suburbs of Boston during the late 60’s and early 70’s and the most violent thing I ever witnessed was two young men (seniors) in a fist fight with one getting his nose broken. That incident left me physically ill for days. A few of my friends were experimenting with marijuana and LSD, but for the most part it was kids from the inner city. The big deal was to sneak a few six packs of beer into a party without parents finding out.

My daughter attended high school in the early 90’s and I was mortified to learn of these types of fights were not only happening on a regular basis, but with girls as well as boys! Some of the teenage girls saw abortion as a form of birth control and drugs were everywhere. Marijuana was now the equivalent of beer. The drug of choice had escalated to heroin and cocaine.

And now, raising my grandchildren, children are bringing guns and knives to school killing each other and themselves. Violence, sex and drugs are found at the elementary level.

It doesn’t take a Harvard degree to see that we, as parents and as a society as a whole are failing our children.

Parents, we can do better and we need to start renewing a sense of family in our homes and restoring our role as the safe place and support system in our children's lives. What would it be like to put just as much time and energy into what goes into our children's emotional health as we do in taking care of their bodies? This is an urgent cry for all parents to pay attention.

Isn't it time to let go of the negative out-dated ideas and beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation without conscious thought. .

Our generation has been blessed with knowledge and information that our parents and grandparents did not have. Not using this information would be the same as someone handing you the keys to a brand new car and then putting the keys in a drawer and never turning on the engine!

Parents, we have the power, we have the tools and a clear map to lead us through the steps to freedom, prosperity and true happiness based on our individual passions. Let’s not rob our children of this opportunity.

Their future literally lies in your hands…what will you choose for your child?

The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results. With that in mind, parents must ask themselves why when it comes to raising children are they reluctant to change their approach to parenting.

We live in world of progress in all areas of our lives. We have gone from horse and buggy to traveling to outer space, from pony express to Skype and instant messaging and from mass deaths due to plagues to being able to transplant hearts. These advancements in our society are a result of the innate desire in the human mind wanting to grow and improve. It is a fact of human nature to refuse the status quo and strive to reach the next level.

Our generation has been blessed with knowledge that removes the mystery behind the workings of the human mind and spirit. We are not only provided with an understanding of the importance of our mindset and beliefs but the tools to apply this information in our lives to achieve the results we desire. Statistics prove that people are open to these new facts and concepts and they are reflected in the billion dollar self-help market that exists. People want to be successful, do better and have more and they are investing time, effort and money to gain access to this information.

And yet, when it comes to raising our children, parents are comfortable with relying on the same method and ideas that our parents used. I call this “passed-down” parenting. We approach raising our children in an almost unconscious state, without any real thought given to the effectiveness or consequences until something happens…until there is a problem that cannot be ignored.

When it comes to parenting our children, the same “invincible” attitude prevails that we clung to in our teen years… “Not my child”… “That only happens in other families”…We are different”. Not many parents wake up each morning wondering if their child is emotionally on track. But they should.

Along with an understanding of the importance of the information that goes into our children’s minds during the first ten years of life we have access to the necessary skills and tools to implement the key elements to be able to empower our children to be the people God created them to be.

We, as parents, are charged with the responsibility of guiding and inspiring them to be who they were created to be…they are not our possessions to mold and control. Children are the purest form of Nature…and as with all things from Nature, there are natural processes already in place for us to abide by and follow.

Children are not to be left vulnerable to the random elements that exist in our world. We are their parents for a reason and until we are willing to step up, open our hearts and minds to a different way of relating to our children and raising them we can expect to see more of the same…

Let’s stand together and take back our intended role in our children’s lives. Open your minds and hearts to the amazing knowledge we have been given the opportunity to utilize to impact our children’s lives. Don’t wait until your child becomes a statistic……  

Get your Free copy of "Becoming an Awakened Parent" NOW and take the first step to reclaiming your God-given place in your children's lives.


Denny Hagel is a child advocate and parenting coaching, devoting over 25 years to the success and well being of all children. She is the published author of over 50 articles on parenting, several of which have attracted international attention, and is a contributor to the parenting section of "The Infinite Field Magazine".

Denny was blessed with forward thinking parents who raised her to live according to the principles of the law of attraction long before it became a household term. Subsequently she has purposefully studied and practiced the law of attraction for the last fifteen years. Her formal education was in early childhood education, psychology, and substance abuse.

She is the founder of Awakened Parenting LLC, and created the discussion group "Awakened Parenting…The Missing Secret" on Face Book. She does on line coaching with parents and teachers who consult her on a regular basis. Denny collaborates with counselors, authors, coaches and others working with parenting and the law of attraction.
Denny Hagel is the author of "Mini-Me Syndrome", “Parenting Using the Law of Attraction” and “Becoming an Awakened Parent".

  • Susan McKenzie

    Denny, way to go! I say we CAN and MUST do better, beginning in our own lives! I was horrified when my 9th grade daughter (she’s almost 25 now) told me, “Mom, I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t do drugs in our school … even the parents are giving them to their kids… teachers, too.” She was home schooled up until that year, was on the honor roll all through her freshman year, and then peer pressure kicked in. I’m proud of the way she has turned her life around, graduated from college, working full-time, and is raising her 1st child… but what a price we as a society have had to pay for being lax and letting things get to this point, on our watch!

  • Anonymous

    Well said Susan! Sadly, I hear many stories similar to what your daughter experienced…but the good news is that more and more parents are “waking up” to the cold hard fact that we have come to a crossroads and they must re-evaluate how they are raising their children. I appreciate your comment.

  • Victoria Gazeley

    Such an important message, Denny. Thank you so much for bringing this to the forefront – we need to hear this. Everyone needs to hear this!

  • Ann-Michele Timmerman

    This is a very well written and eye opening article for many parents to take note of. I particularly liked the line:

    “We approach raising our children in an almost unconscious state, without any real thought given to the effectiveness or consequences until something happens…until there is a problem that cannot be ignored.”

    In my opinion, the good news I like to share with parents is that our home, our four walls – our familial “subculture” essentially – has the power to energetically produce resilient children…and as you implied – by following Mother Nature’s patterns, sequences and rules.

    This is particularly so when they’re in the younger years (and influenced more by their parents than their peers), as it will set the foundation for this resilience later on when they come across external negative influences…but only IF parents consciously implement the proper communicative energy early on.

    Our energy is precisely what guides them and inspires them “to be who they were created to be.”

    I thank you for taking such a strong stand to help spread the conscious parenting word!

    ~Ann-Michele Timmerman

  • Carol Douthitt

    “We, as parents, are charged with the responsibility of guiding and inspiring them to be who they were created to be…they are not our possessions to mold and control.” This is so true. When I tried to create the life I wanted my daughter to live based on the dreams I had for her, she was very unhappy. The moment I realized I needed to love and accept her for the unique, talented, and amazing person that she is and help her follow her own path … she started to transform before my eyes. Today at 23, my daughter is my Best Friend!

  • Anonymous

    Carol, I love hearing stories like that of you and your daughter. How blessed she was to have you, a parent who was willing to “let go” and simply love. The pay off for both of you is something to be treasured…and I can tell you do! Thank you for sharing with me.

  • Anonymous

    Ann-Michele, Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate hearing from parents and professionals like yourself…it energizes me! I especially like your point of how this approach to raising our children sets a foundation for resilience as they get older and challenges are more difficult. That really sums up the goal doesn’t it!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for commenting Victoria and you are very welcome. With parents like you on board, together we can continue to share the message!

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